A change of pace.

Since neither Dez nor I have been posting enough about cooking related topics, but we are both vociferous, opinionated and witty on many other topics - and also because I've been told lately that I am freaking hilarious when I rant on Facebook about the state of fashion these days - I've decided to extend the subject matter of this blog from strictly culinary to also including fashion. Specifically, "plus-sized" women's fashion. Needless to say, since we both enjoy cooking so much, both Dez and I fall into that category.

As a preface, I have always been a big girl. I was born nearly two feet long and doctors were telling my mother that I'd be over six feet tall when I was just a little kid. We laughed and thought I'd probably be tall, oh, let's say around 5'10-5'11", but who ever heard of a woman over six feet tall? Well by the time I was thirteen and in middle school I was already 5'11" and shot up to 6'2" by the time I graduated high school. As a result, to keep my internal organs safe from the threat of a violent collapse-y smushed death, my frame had to be a bit large.

Everyone expects fat people to be lazy or eat unhealthy or something that would cause them to be solely responsible for their body while people who are good and do things the right way get to stay skinny. In high school, I was actually very athletic. I was on the swim team and spent three hours every day in the gym, running and swimming laps. Even during school breaks, even over the summers, even on holidays. As a result, I weighed 155 lbs my first two years of high school, which is 20 lbs under the ideal recommended weight for my height and frame size. I had no boobs to speak of, and very little in the way of a feminine figure. But my thighs still had cellulite and I still wore a size 13.

After I graduated and my activity level went down, my hips filled out and my boobs... As one of my favorite lines from opera ever, Cunégonde from Candide says: "My memorable mammaries like alpine peaks!" HOLY BOOBAGE, BATMAN! Suddenly I had a womanly figure. My breasts and hips made sense in relation to the thunder thighs and bubble butt I'd always had. I felt sexy and desirable and comfortable in my body for the first time in my life. I was also a size 16. Society says I'm not allowed to feel sexy and also be wearing clothes from the shameful section of the store marked "plus", but fuck society. I'd never gotten below double digit pant sizes even when I had a body fat percentage lower than my damn pant size! I am never going to be delicate and waifish, and I made peace with that a long time ago.

Anyway, all of that is to say that now you all get the joy of Dez and I gleefully ripping the plus-sized women's fashion industry to shreds. We're going to tear into all of the standards for hiding those unsightly rolls and lumps. Ruffles are a fat girl's best friend! And if in doubt, add more ruffles! Aymmetrical pleats to distract the eye so that it's almost as though you look like a size 4! Cut that neckline low, big ladies, because we all know epic cleavage is the only thing you're good for! Add as many tacky, unnecessary sequins, gemstones and beads as you can in the hopes that it will distract and confuse male suitors so that they won't notice you're fat. And of course, the shining gold star of the plus-sized girl's wardrobe; the empire waist. *insert angelic harp music here*

Jambalaya.

Everyone has a dish that they love making, that takes them to their happy place. Mine is jambalaya. A large part of it is due to my OCD nature. I like things just so. This dish requires a lot of knife skills and a stepwise process that builds flavor. Making it calms and soothes my nit-picky soul, and the flavor is amazing.

First, you need to gather your ingredients.

Not pictured: two chicken breasts and a package of smoked sausage.

Next, dice your onion, thinly slice your peppers and mince your garlic.

Then slice your sausage into 1/2 inch pieces and cube your chicken. You can season your chicken however you like. I like using cajun seasoning.

Next, put a large, heavy skillet over high heat. Fry your sausage for about 1-2 minutes just until they get a good char on them and you've got some grease coating the pan. Remove the sausage with a slotted spoon but LEAVE THE GREASE! This is what makes this dish so amazingly flavorful. You build on the flavors each step creates.

Lower the heat to medium-high and add 1 tablespoon of oil. Then add your chicken and cook until no longer pink.

See all that crusted goodness on the bottom of the pan? Once you remove the chicken with a slotted spoon, again LEAVING THE GREASE, hit that with a splash of white wine to deglaze the pan. Scrape up all the flavor bits and swirl them around in the wine and fat drippings. Add another tablespoon of oil to the pan and reduce the heat to medium, then add your peppers, onions and garlic and cook until tender.

See all that awesome flavor? And that's just from the grease and chicken seasoning. We haven't even added any spices yet!

Once your veggies are tender, add the rice and salt + spices. Turn the heat back up to high and cook for 1 minute before adding the chicken broth, canned tomatoes (with their juice!), 1 cup of water and tabasco.

Bring that to a boil then add the meat back in and cover with foil and bake at 400 degrees F for about 15-20 minutes, until all the liquid is absorbed.

The most crucial ingredient in this recipe is the tabasco sauce. I have accidentally left it out before and even though it's only a half teaspoon, it is very noticeable. Although the original recipe calls for 1/2 tsp, I actually don't measure the tabasco anymore. I generally just do anywhere from 4-6 "dashes" from the bottle. Your level of heat preference may vary.

Also, the cup of water is easy to forget so I always set it out along with my other ingredients before I start cooking. You can totally play around with andouille sausage or shrimp. I've done both as well as adding okra before. This is a very versatile recipe.

Jambalaya

1 package smoked sausage
2 lbs boneless, skinless chicken breasts
6 cloves garlic
1 large onion
2 small bell peppers, your choice of color
3 c instant white rice
1 tsp paprika
3/4 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp thyme
1 tsp salt
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can chicken broth
1 cup water
1/2 tsp tabasco sauce

Best. Wings. Ever!

One of the things that I love about living in the Caribbean is the local tendency to waste nothing when it comes to a carcass. Go to the grocery store and you'll see the necks, wing tips, backs, offal... Every part of a chicken, laid out fresh. This grosses a lot of American students out when they first get here. Me, I had visions of roasted bones and savory chicken stock dancing in my head!

You can also buy huge bags of fresh wings. I found this recipe the other day and decided to give it a go. I can't get Frank's buffalo sauce down here, and the local stuff is too buttery/not spicy enough for me, so I decided to try a teriyaki glaze instead.

I marinated the wings in the 50/50 mixture of Italian dressing and soy sauce overnight. This morning I pulled them out, drained them, patted them dry and then roasted them for 30 minutes at 400 degrees. I mixed up some teriyaki sauce and sriracha sauce and tossed the wings in it before popping them back in the oven for another 10 minutes.

Oh. Em. Gee. Sooo good! I only wish I'd used a little more sriracha, because a little more heat would make these perfect.

Greatest hits.

I'm missing my good baking pans, Penzeys spices and weather cool enough to make baking tolerable. I've been nostalgically browsing my Photobucket account, drooling over things I made in yesteryear.

Spooky Halloween "rainbow" cupcake. Rainbow cupcakes are super easy to do. Just make a box white cake mix, separate the batter evenly into different bowls, add food coloring to desired intensity and then layer the batter into the pan. Buttercream recipe.

Sugar and spice! Sugar cookie recipe. Icing recipe. Spice crackles recipe.

Chocolate angel food cake. Recipe via "The Cake Bible."

Mandarin orange cupcakes with vanilla pineapple whipped cream topping and toasted coconut. Sorry, ya'll aren't getting this recipe. Family secret passed down from my grandma. ;)

Chocolate Guinness stout cupcakes with Irish cream and peppermint frosting. Recipe via smittenkitchen. Only change I made was to add Rumple Minze to the frosting as well as the Bailey's.

Persimmon cheesecake. Changes: Omitted the sour cream topping and ginger. Added 1/2 tsp cinnamon and 1/4 tsp nutmeg to the filling and did a crushed gingersnap crust. This was so incredibly delicious. This was all that remained after a weekend in Chicago with friends.

Lemon cake with lemon curd filling (Trader Joe's) and raspberry buttercream icing (same buttercream recipe as the Halloween cupcake, plus raspberry fruit spread) for my mother's 49th birthday. Yeah, the top is domed and the piping on the bottom is amateurish. I finished this at like 11:30pm when I had to be at work at 6am the next day, so I couldn't be arsed to level it or get fancy with my decorating. It tasted amazing and my mom loved it, and that's all that matters.

Sticky, delicious chicken.

Hello again from the Caribbean! Today marks the beginning of our "semester break", which means we get one day off next Monday for a three day weekend. It seems paltry, and it kind of is, but it when you're used to putting in 8-12 hour days on campus 5 days a week, plus TA sessions on weekends, a day off feels like an eternity. So I'm going to be having an extra meal at home this week and thought I'd do it up right. Lucky for me the decision about what to cook was pretty much made for me as yesterday, while I wandered around the grocery store looking for ideas, I spotted whole chickens on sale. Sticky chicken it is!

This recipe always gets praise from my husband and friends. It's a rotisserie-like chicken with crispy, sticky skin, tender, juicy meat and lots of flavor.

4 lb whole chicken, skin on and guts removed
2 tsp salt
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp white pepper
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (optional)

If you don't like your food spicy, I've substituted the 1/4 tsp each of black and cayenne pepper for 1/2 tsp of lemon pepper in the past when I knew I was feeding people with a milder palate.

Sprinkle evenly all over your chicken and then rub the spices into the skin to evenly distribute the flavor all over the bird. Don't forget to rub a little bit on the walls inside of the chicken as well. Sometimes I spray a little canola oil on the skin before adding the spices to make it really crispy. If you want to use 4 lbs of split chicken breasts or drumsticks you can just toss them in a big bag with the spice mix, but I'm not sure how that would effect the cooking time so that's on you to figure out. Preheat your oven to 300 degees. Grease your baking dish, otherwise the skin will stick horribly and you'll lose all of that delicious flavor on one side of your bird. Bake low and slow, uncovered, for 3 hours or until it reaches 170 degrees internal temperature. Pull it out and while it rests it will continue to cook until it reaches 180 for perfect doneness.

Enchilada sauce.

So it's been awhile! Sorry for the absence, but I kind of moved to another country, so... y'know.

Last night was the first night myself and my new roommates threw together a joint-contribution meal where I made enchiladas and they made tacos. Living in a 3rd world country means adapting in oh-so-many ways, one of which is availability of ingredients. I can get many of the things I need for enchiladas here, but not enchilada sauce. An added complication is that one of my new roomies is gluten intolerant, so I had to do some searching until I found what looked like a decent recipe.

I ended up going with this one. We don't have any rice flour or other flour substitutes yet, so I just left out the roux formation and most of the water and oil. I added those in at the end until I got the right consistency. Amazingly, even without all that, it still tasted very good! Very flavorful and bakes up just like enchilada sauce should - not too gummy, not too runny, just right.

I don't have any pictures, sorry. I gobbled up the last of the leftovers for lunch today before thinking to grab my camera. You'll just have to take my word for it.

Chicken and wild rice soup.

I was too exhausted after work last night to do a full write up of this recipe, but it's so good that it simply must be shared. I've made this three times now and I have to say, it's pretty idiot-proof. I've forgotten to add the rice in until the last minute, only had half of the flour the recipe calls for and didn't realize it, and once my mother added about three cups of water to a big batch coming right out of the fridge before it had reheated thoroughly on the stove because it was "too thick", not realizing that the fat would thin out as it warmed. The finished product is always yummy regardless.

Few changes:

- I always saute onion, celery, carrots and mushrooms separately and add them with the chicken.

- I also add about 1/2 cup of instant white rice to help thicken it up.

- I use half and half instead of heavy cream, and 6 full cups of chicken broth because why on earth would anyone add water to soup? The only time water should be added at any point of the soup-making process is during broth/stock preparation.

Best winter soup ever. Thick, hearty and filling and goes great with a crusty hunk of bread.