We've all got one; a group of friends who get together and talk about food, share recipes and techniques and generally shoot the shit. Ours just happens to be foul-mouthed and unabashed. This blog is a collaboration of authors (even occasionally male!) who share a love of booze, profanity, food and bitching.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The way to a person's heart is through their truffles

Warning: This recipe may cause spontaneous declarations of love and ardent offers of sexual favors.* Do not make these without proper safety procedures in place.

Right, so a lot of people I know love chocolate chip cookies and their dough; me, not so much. I mean, they're okay. But I've been making chocolate chip cookies since I was about seven; they just don't hold much interest for me anymore. I know I'm in the minority here, and realizing this I decided to try out this recipe for all the people in my family who lick the spoon after mixing up some cookie dough.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Chicken and wild rice soup.

I was too exhausted after work last night to do a full write up of this recipe, but it's so good that it simply must be shared. I've made this three times now and I have to say, it's pretty idiot-proof. I've forgotten to add the rice in until the last minute, only had half of the flour the recipe calls for and didn't realize it, and once my mother added about three cups of water to a big batch coming right out of the fridge before it had reheated thoroughly on the stove because it was "too thick", not realizing that the fat would thin out as it warmed. The finished product is always yummy regardless.

Few changes:

- I always saute onion, celery, carrots and mushrooms separately and add them with the chicken.

- I also add about 1/2 cup of instant white rice to help thicken it up.

- I use half and half instead of heavy cream, and 6 full cups of chicken broth because why on earth would anyone add water to soup? The only time water should be added at any point of the soup-making process is during broth/stock preparation.

Best winter soup ever. Thick, hearty and filling and goes great with a crusty hunk of bread.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Not your average home cook.

Right now I'm reading "Kitchen Confidential" by Anthony Bourdain, lent to me by the wonderful Dez. It's a really great book so far, and I heartily recommend it to anyone with an appreciation for food and snark. But one chapter really tickled my fancy, where he described what sets a professional cook at a restaurant apart from your average home cook. These are a few of the things that he listed as being common to necessary in restaurant kitchens that you typically don't see in your average home:

- fresh garlic
- shallots
- squeeze bottles of oil, wine, coulis, etc.
- a good chef's knife


Garlic, shallots and oh, lemons, too! Because I will zest a lemon into practically any pasta or salad. Which I just did, along with frying up some of the shallots crispy for the greek salad I had for lunch. Speaking of oil...

Olive oil and peanut oil, arranged mise en place on the back of the stove, even. For when I need a drizzle of oil while I'm cooking.

This baby has been through years of heavy-cooking and eight months of peeling and chopping hard squashes daily for a foster iguana.

Now yes, I realize the book was written ten years ago before the foodie craze and suddenly every housewife wanted to be Rachel Ray. I also realize, as my husband put it, "No one would ever call you an 'average' home cook." And I've also met the very home cooks he's referring to. My own mother, when I ask if she has garlic, thinks I'm referring to garlic powder. I've been at house parties before and offered to help with prep, and when I asked for a knife to dice an onion have been handed a steak knife.

But I thought it was pretty damn amusing reading through his checklist of things that set restaurants apart as though I were reading through my own grocery list.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Asparagus soup.

When we first began dating, my husband hated any and all vegetables save for iceberg lettuce. Slowly but surely we began to add new and exotic veggies to his palate; things like romaine lettuce, green beans and asparagus. He now loves asparagus.

So last night we were out to dinner with his mother and I mentioned that I would be making cream of asparagus soup the next day, one of his favorite dishes, and his mother says, "Asparagus?! You hate asparagus!" And I admit, I experienced that tiny thrill that goes along with knowing the man your significant other has become better than his own mother, who thinks that his tastes haven't evolved much beyond chicken nuggets and mac n' cheese. Then she went and fucked it all up by getting him to try a piece of tuna sashimi, something I've been begging him to do for years now. Bitch.

Anyway, the soup. This is a favorite of both of ours. It's warm, thick, creamy and peppery, and the flavor of the asparagus really shines through. My husband would drink this by the gallon if I let him.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

The Turduckening

I'd like to pretend that I'm such an awesome cook that this meal was simple as making toast. But in reality, this meal was as simple as making toast because this particular bird is literally idiot-proof. If you can make nasty frozen pizza, you can make this turducken.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Thanksgiving, a bit late.

Buckle in, kiddies, it's gonna be a long one!

This Thanksgiving the husband and I ate at his mother's house. Now, I have nothing against the woman personally, but it has to be said that she can't cook meat. Side dishes, veggies, cold items, all good. But I can't tell you how many classic meat dishes - meatloaf, pork chops, pot roast - my husband hated when we first began dating because he thought that they were "too dry." So yeah, the bird was dry, but otherwise we had a good time and plenty of good food. We were also sent home with a huge bag full of dry, flaky turkey.

Next weekend the two co-authors of this blog, moi and the fabulous Dez, are getting together for an event we have dubbed "The Turduckening." Neither Dez nor I have ever tried turducken, and we are very eager to. As I will be leaving for St. Kitts to begin vet school soon, this seemed like a good time to have a get together with our close friends and say to hell with the expense and just do the damn thing. So Dez is preparing the birds and gravy (side note: this quote from Dez exemplifies why she and I are such good friends. "Hell if I'm NOT making gravy out of the pan drippings of three different poultry."), and I am contributing cranberry sauce and stuffing.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Homemade chicken and noodles.

My mom was never a big cook. She knew how, but she didn't enjoy it. Probably because she would get home from working a 7am-5pm shift in the emergency room being vomited on, bled on and having crackheads swear at her and throw their soiled bedpans at her, only to have to cook dinner for two self-absorbed kids who were completely oblivious about what her day had been like. But one of the things that I remember her seeming to take an inkling of pleasure in preparing was her chicken and noodles. This was something that she'd spend a little more time and care on, and it showed in her demeanor when she'd make it. It's a dish that is forever associated for me with calm, relaxed evenings at home watching TGIF, and going out for ice cream later.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Wherein our illustrious guest blogger makes an appearance

A little about me: I'm frequently broke, especially around the holidays, and I have a large family and a huge pool of friends. All of this breaks down into one thing: I don't give presents, I give baskets and bags of baked goods and candies for the holidays. Some recipes are a given for certain groups: I can be pretty sure most of my presents for my friends will involve alcohol, I have to find a tasty diabetic-friendly recipe for my live-in's grandmother, I have to find something that ships well for his father, and I have to figure out something interesting that can be made in advance for the voracious and superlatively picky bunch that are related to me.

As a result my "holiday baking" starts early with new recipe testing. And as with all recipe testing, things go wrong. For today, I'm trying out Chocolate & Peanut Butter Meringues.

I was specifically thinking of my brother and mom for this one as they both adore meringues and macaroon-type cookies. Myself, I am not a fan. But these were pretty tasty. Also, the only thing that might go wrong if you let the batter sit for a while (as I did) is that the second batch that's been sitting doesn't poof up as much. They still taste good, they're just a little flat.

I should place here a disclaimer: I am not a photographer and my food frequently turns out delicious but homely. If other food bloggers have pictures that are considered food porn, mine's food amateur porn: lots of enthusiasm, but messier than a professional job.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Pumpkin pie tartlets.

The husband and I are going to an early Halloween party tonight and I decided to put the homemade pumpkin pie filling I made a couple of weeks ago to good use.

I used my friend Hilary's recipe as a jumping off point and tweaked it to suit my tastes

Friday, October 22, 2010


Yesterday was the one night only touring performance of "Legally Blonde: the Musical!" in my area, and I went to see it with my mother. It was a genuine girls-day-out with shopping, dinner and a show, and afterward drinks in our jammies in front of my TV. I experimented with a sangria recipe you've gotta try.

1 bottle cheap red wine
1 can (12 oz) of lemon-lime soda
1/3 cup of brandy
whatever fruit you want (I used pineapple, orange, lemon, lime and what was probably the last ripe peach of the season)

Basically dump it all in a pitcher, stir to combine and pour. Really, really tasty stuff. You cannot taste the brandy except in a vague, aromatic sort of way - almost like drinking mulled wine.This would probably be better the longer you let the flavors steep together. I'm making it again tonight and I've left the fruit from last night in the pitcher, added the brandy and have it soaking in my fridge.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


One of my best childhood memories is of making snickerdoodles in my grandmother's kitchen. My favorite thing to do was pop one of every three balls of dough I rolled in cinnamon sugar into my mouth without Grandma noticing. Snickerdoodles are also one of the foods that I am so picky about it borders on a bit scary. I won't buy them at those cookie stands in the mall, or bake sales, and rarely I'll try one from a professional bakery but almost always am disappointed. For the record:

- Sugar cookies rolled or dusted in cinnamon sugar, or with cinnamon mixed into the dough, are not snickerdoodles.

- Butter cookies similarly treated are not snickerdoodles.

- Neither are shortbread cookies, etc.

I have a trusted favorite snickerdoodle recipe that my grandmother passed on to me that interestingly enough wound up more or less in its original form on allrecipes.com. Mrs. Sigg's Snickerdoodles have that wonderful balance of soft, pillowy insides to crispy, chewy outsides that a good snickerdoodle should have. They also bake up with the picture-perfect crackles that one envisions snickerdoodles having every time. This recipe also contains my #1, never deviate from it rule for cookie baking; an equal ratio of butter to shortening. Trust me on this one, if you want cookies that bake up soft and tender as well as chewy, you will listen and obey.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Butternut squash soup.

It's autumn and that always puts me in the mood for soup! Warm, aromatic, heavy-cream-laden calorie bombs.

This recipe popped up on allrecipes.com as the recipe of the day about a week ago, and I decided to give it a shot. Roasting vegetables deepens and preserves their flavor a lot better than boiling them, so I did things a little differently than what the recipe calls for. I halved my squash and roasted it along with half of an onion and two cloves of garlic at 350 for about an hour.